Celebrities do not want to get into relationships with normal people.They do not want to have a date in a Wetherspoon’s “as a treat”, they do not want to sleep in a grotty bed that has a Pringles tube somehow stuck under the covers.
We love to immerse ourselves in the stories of star-crossed lovers.
We get a kick out of the will-they-or-won't-they teases of a good on-screen friendship tinged with sexual attraction.
Only one successful, long-lasting coupling, it seems, from 210 people, has happened on this show, because a girl picked a boy because of his dick.
A common piece of advice for many men is: “Stop thinking with your dick”, but in this case, I think the advice should be: “Stop thinking with someone else’s dick”.912 people dating across eight series (not including last series of First Dates and First Dates Hotel)Seven lasting couples1.5% chance of finding true love Yes, you should go on First Dates, because it is the best TV show on at the moment, and the greatest dating show of all time.
And for the most part, the figures are calculated estimates (for example, I’ve assumed you see four dates per episode on First Dates, which is standard for the show).
Here are the results - you can thank me later, at your wedding, which I am invited to now:127 people dating across three series (not including the last one)No lasting couples0% chance of finding true love No, you should not go on Celebs Go Dating, because the show is inherently flawed.
If we ignore the short-lived romance between Joey Essex and Stephanie Pratt (they were both celebrities, which isn’t of much help to you), then all we’ve really got is Calum Best and a fitness model called Victoria Winterford.
It seemed to last for a bit, but no idea what’s going on with that now. Don’t go on Celebs Go Dating if you’re looking for anything meaningful, basically.
But which dating show gives you the greatest chance of actually embracing the one thing we all want in this world: true love?
To find out, I looked at the most popular UK dating shows that are currently on, or at least between series, but not included any seasons of a show that are currently airing or have just finished, as it’s a bit too early to tell with the relationships in those ones.
They want fancy hotels, they want expensive trips around the world and they want Kettle Chips, not Pringles.